Run Roachie....Run!

I don’t know if many of you have ever experienced a broken AC in the midst of a Georgia heat wave but I hope that you never do. It does something to your sleep and to your overall psyche.

But this morning, I am not going to rant about the heat and things that keep me up in the night but more about another summer treat...bugs.

Like every American, I am not a fan of bugs. I don’t even like butterflies or lady bugs. Dragonflies totally freak me out (just a bit too Jurassic for me) and living in an older house (note broken AC unit) in lush, woods in the South there is diverse and large population of insects. However though, despite my general distaste for these creepy, crawly, spindly creatures...I find it difficult to kill them.

For example, if I find a roach in kitchen, I’ll open the side door and give him the opportunity to run for it. Generally, if the spider is up the wall high enough, I’ll just try to ignore his presence. I feel remorse when ruining their webs because I know how much time and effort it must have spent making it. The thought of that beetle not returning home to his beetle wife and beetle babies with food makes me sad. Here is a kicker...if I find a roach belly up, taking his last few breaths (because you know it takes forever for them to finally go into the light), I’ll do him a solid and transport him outside where he probably feels more at home passing or even into the trash can which I imagine is as close as it gets to heaven on earth for a roach.

To be honest, I really can’t blame them for wanting to be inside. There is much more plentiful and delicious food in here. It is never going to rain inside and the temperature is (normally) pleasant and cool. Additionally, they face less predators. I mean it's literally roach vs. Caroline instead of roach vs. world. Sounds much better to me.

Furthermore, I feel bad killing something for the simple purpose of I don’t like where it is located. Don’t misunderstand, our house is not some bug infested, ramshackle health hazard. I had it exterminated (and that holocaust is on him not me) and I have my various spray cans to...ahem, take care of things (and contribute to global warming). I just wish that we could co-exist on this planet...them on the outside of my house and me on the inside.

Perhaps this gives a bit more insight to my never ending...should I eat meat debate.

Flavor Tripping and Fate

Do you believe in fate? I am not sure if I do. Sometimes, I feel that it is hard to deny…or perhaps if you listen hard enough, the universe answers your internal questions. Like when the sermon in church is exactly what you need to hear or the first time you heard the Fray's "Over My Head," because seriously, haven't we all been there…perhaps you are just more in tune to your surroundings. Hmm…

I digress.

What I want to talk about is “flavor tripping” and the series of events that surround it and me. Late night last week, Adam and I are channel surfing and happen upon this show on the Planet Green. It’s some [kinda out there] chef explaining this berry powder product he is calling “Miracle Fruit.” From his description, he says that this berry temporarily rewires the brain to taste sour as sweet. Huh…fast forward to a montage of kitchen staff gorging themselves on lemons, goat cheese, hot sauce, guiness…and to the untrained eye they were arguably acting pretty crazy. Then, they plan this whole gourmet menu of mums, aloe vera, cactus and grass for their restaurant, Moto…chef goes on to talk about ending hunger with this miracle fruit by making seemingly inedible plants edible with the help of “miracle fruit”…and it is with all of that mumbo jumbo, that I’m done.

I’m a total ”miracle fruit” skeptic and Adam and I turn that garbage off. The real "miracle" is that this nut job got on TV. Next day, I’m still intrigued, so I do a quick little Google search that surprisingly leads me to some credible articles about “miracle fruit”…and not just ones on Wikipedia, y’all…we are talking the NY Times and CNN. It’s true! There is a teeny tiny berry, Synsepalum dulcificum, from West Africa that does do what crazy chef says! In fact, in NYC and L.A. there are parties where this berry is the guest of honor and people pay to ‘flavor trip’ and go wild with their taste buds. Additionally, the berry was presented as a sweetener to the FDA in the 70’s and is popular in Japan with the diabetics! Whodathunkit?

The very next morning, in my inbox, Scoutmob has invited me to ‘flavor trip’ and meet my miracle berry at Three Sheets ATL, where coincidentally I have been jonesin’ to try. What are the odds of this bizarre series of events?Miracle berry why do you taunt me?

Fate? Probably not. I think that fate is probably reserved for meeting the love of your life, or finding that dream job or last pair of shoes in your size…

I’ll let you know how it goes.

Summer Camp or Bust!

Ok, ok, ok...its been a long time since I have blogged. I really don't feel all that bad because there are only three people that read this blog so really, who cares? And so you three, I dedicate my lunch break to you...

Life has been BUSY! Not only have I been working, I have also been doing some charity work on the weekends, both parents have had birthdays, and then there has just been a whole lot of life stuff...hair do's, puggles, dentists, groceries, house troubles, dinner parties...etc. That being said...things have been going really well. I just want a little breather! I am really looking forward to the beach for 4th of July! I am not looking forward to more frequent bathing suit wear. That is neither here nor there.

I've been thinking a lot about childhood or simply being a child. I think that there should be a summer camp for adults. I was riding my "new to me" bike last weekend with my dad and I was talking about how much I miss summer camp. I am not really athletic so all of the physical things I don't care about. (I didn't even attempt to ride a horse until I was 17). I could really use a week of someone dropping me off somewhere with structured activities and preplanned menus and just allowing me to have at it! What a mental break that would be! I don't have to worry about paying for things or getting anywhere, I could eat some snack, I could do a little arts and crafts, maybe go for free swim, tool around on a canoe, eat food someone else has made and unplug from the world. Sign me up! Need to get in touch with me? Write a letter! Yeah!

It sounds fun...right? I believe that I am just having a hard time adjusting to complete adult life. This is my first summer as a working adult, completely self sufficient and it is a major adjustment. While I am sitting at a desk crafting an email my friends that are still in school or the mass of friends that are unemployed/underemployed are tweeting about the pool and Braves games at 1:00pm. Ugh...unfair. I had my time though. Summer time just makes me wish I had taken my sweet time getting through school. Hah!

Ok, unrelated tangent...Mumford and Sons are my jam right now!

I'm Not Gonna Write You a Love Song

I had one of those days yesterday...the kind where I disasterbate and launch into my quarterlife crisis mode..."Who am I? What do I want? How do I get there? Why can't I get there faster?"

Surely all two of you that read this can identify. Any how, I feel a lot more at peace today. I can't really tell you why...the questions and uncertainty remain, I just feel confident that life will work it out. Plus, I am taking the day off tomorrow...for a mental break, so today is technically my Friday. We don't have a lot of days on this earth. Roughly 30,000 if you expect to live until at least 80 (check out the mister's extremely well written post on it, here). Spending too many of those days stressed out about the subsequent days does seem like a total waste of precious days.

So whether or not the place I am in is right or wrong for me. Whether I end up making everything work the way I plan or wait tables...I really need to take it one day at time. Which is much easier to write than practice!

I'll leave you with this. I love DMB like most 15-35 year olds, been to several shows...and I've heard "You & Me" tons of times before...but this weekend, while cleaning the house with my honey, I really "heard" this song. Such a beautiful love song. I want my life to sound like this song...

Just a Friendly Reminder

Recent observation:

Very, very rarely is a "friendly reminder" that friendly at all.

Am I right or am I right?

I do!

I'm so desperately trying to find my passion.

It's becoming increasingly clear to me that the saying "If you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life."

And so, it is with slow steps that I take the steps to define and nurture my passions and turn it into a career.

The economy/recession has really changed the game. Instead of landing that dream job or holding out for a position that is right...it's about grabbing the first thing that is offered to you, the first thing that will pay your bills...leaving dreams by the wayside. In a way, I kind of like the way it is making our generation think...it is a very 50's-esque mentality. "I'll do what ever it takes to keep the puggle and I fed."

But, it is also very difficult. From experience, I can attest that it's challenging to get up in the morning not particularly excited about the day. It's terrifying to imagine a life time like that.

I've begun my process. I don't want to reveal too much (to the 2 of you that read)...in case I have an epiphany or win the lottery (ha ha)...but it involves a little more schooling, a mac, perseverance, a lot of choice advertisements, sweat, volunteerism, something borrowed, something blue and (hopefully) a whole lot of different "I do's".

Wish me luck.

Quarterlife Crisis

It is so weird being a college graduate. My days are so monotonous. By Wednesday my skin is itching to do something...anything exciting. Something to cut loose...something to break the mold. I'm just not ready to accept this life. It's hard to imagine that life looks like this.

I think your twenties are about really trying to make it...figuring out that way to make a buck or make life work for you. You see people out and try to make your job sound way cooler and way more important than it is...and then bide your time in interviews desperately trying to convince someone to give you that cool opportunity that is important.

I suppose that I thought the transition would be easier. I told myself I was craving a routine. Tell you what though...6:30 am Monday morning (who am I kidding??)...7:10 am Monday morning is depressing.

"Oh god, I have to do this 4 more times this week."

I have to think that the feeling is not foreign to most recent graduates settling in their first job. Party's over.

So now what??

No Spring Break this year. No weekends that begin on Thursday. Just bills and emails, responsibility and workouts, budgets and weekends. Don't misunderstand me. Life is good. It's just an adjustment...I accept the challenge. Life is clearly what you make of it.

I'll leave you with this.

I'm certain you've never seen such a face.

Sleeping to Dream

I frequently have dreams about people that I haven't seen in YEARS. I mean quite a while. Perhaps its facebook...so there is a mental image somewhere in my subconscience I've indexed cette person.

For the most part, I like to think that it is because our paths will cross again. That maybe later on in life there is a purpose for short relationships, random encounters and chance.

It makes it better to think that way.

The Chickens Across the Road

Been contemplating becoming a vegetarian recently. I've thought about it before and even gone as far as trying it out for a short while. The previous trials came from a desire to lead a healthier lifestyle.

This time it is a little different. Clearly, after I got the cutest puggle in world (Oz), I became a animal fanatic. Working for a company that has roots in the animal industry really intensifies that fanatical mindset. I read the most horrific stories about the unjust, disgusting things that people do to harmless creatures. Like sick, barbaric stuff. And ironically, my office is located right across the street from a chicken plant.

The other day, driving to work I was behind a truck of condemned chickens. I felt so badly for these poor chickens...I literally could not look at them. Stacked 15 cages deep, with no room to move, 4 chickens to a cage, raised specifically to be killed. The problem is...that my dilemma seemingly begins and ends with chicken. I love chicken. I could probably give up every meat but chicken (and sausage).

Honestly, I cannot imagine life without another Chick-fil-A biscuit or basket of hot wings.

I am just not sure that living life sans meat is the answer to the animal cruelty or inhumane conditions of meat packing. I do realize that I am talking about two different, but related issues. As it stands, I don't actually eat a lot of meat.

And where does fish fall into this whole thing?

Conflicted. Confused. Thinking about the chickens across the road.